Relationships And Gender Roles

Well now i'm going to open up a huge can of worms and probably going to get severely criticised, but this is a huge issue.

In many Christian circles they think it’s cute and adorable to see two young people clearly going out with each other and they clearly have feelings for each other. But what, may I ask, are those feelings? In a relationship, first of all you need to understand the different yet equally important roles the man and woman have. The man is the leader.

This is not popular or politically correct but it is biblically correct. Going all the way back to Genesis, God ordained the man to lead to women. Mark my words, however, I am not for one tiny moment saying the woman can't disagree with the man or that women have to submit to every man in their lives. They are to be subject to their father and pastor, then to their husband in marriage. Before marriage however, in a relationship, and indeed in the realms of friendship there is no subjugation.  I do not by any means condone abuse or treating women as inferior and anyone that does such things has a lot to answer for treating one of God’s children in such a manner.

How can we men claim to love God and love a young woman unless we as men treat her as the person He says she is? I touched on this a moment ago but I want to reiterate if we treat a woman as anything less than a daughter of our King and our sister in Christ believe you me we will have Him to answer to!

I am focussing on men primarily because we have the greater responsibility. The fact remains though, ladies we need you. Even the sincerest of men will get things wrong purely because they are imperfect and cannot know everything. We may well be genuine, but as leaders we must be humble. If a sister in Christ comes to us with a concern or issue we must be willing to listen and take heed to what is said. After all, we are not just supposed to represent Christ to the world but to each other as well. It goes back, yet again, to who a woman is - a daughter of the King. We dare not cause her to stumble.

Quite simply,  a man has a responsibility to lead and should lead primarily by example. It is not about being the boss or being bigger it is about servitude. If he is truly acting like a man his primary goal will be to lead the woman he claims to love by his servants heart and by his humility. Ladies, if the guy is not leading don’t take the lead yourself. It would be pointless proceeding with the relationship and marrying a person who behaves like a coward and can’t take responsibility. It is indeed foolish to proceed because you will simply be holding his hand for the rest of your life. You are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God and you, young woman, deserve better than than to be treated like that. In fact what does that phrase mean? The verse in full is:

I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. (Psalm 139:14 NASB)

Let’s take a look at two words.

Fearfully – Feeling reverence; feeling respect or awe for somebody or something (in this case, our Creator).

Wonderfully – Outstanding, of a quality that excites admiration or amazement; exceedingly pleasing, suiting somebody perfectly.

A woman has the responsibility of submitting to her husband. Working alongside him, encouraging him, and raising their children in the love and admonition of God.  And they also have the responsibility to bring up something that concerns or worries them.  But this cannot--absolutely cannot--be done in such a way that he feels like he is being ridiculed for his faults.  Ladies, you must respect and love your husband at all times, especially when you are discussing an issue with him

While ladies, may not have the same responsibilities, they do still have plenty of responsibility.  Have you ever heard the phrase, “The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world?”  This is so very true.  Titus 2:4-5 says:

So that they [older women] will wisely train the young women to be sane and sober of mind (temperate, disciplined) and to love their husbands and their children,

To be self-controlled, chaste, homemakers, good-natured (kindhearted), adapting and subordinating themselves to their husbands, that the word of God may not be exposed to reproach (blasphemed or discredited). (Amplified Bible)

Paul makes it clear, not just here, but in many other passages as well, that a woman's responsibility is her home.  Whether she is a daughter or a wife, her goal should be raising the next generation for God’s glory.  As a daughter, this could mean helping her mother helping to care for younger siblings or taking over some of the household chores so her mother can focus on the younger siblings.  If a young woman has no younger siblings, maybe she can find a woman in church who would like some help.

Daughters also need to be subject to her father’s authority.  If she disagrees with him, she can bring a calm, reasoned response to him, but, ultimately, he is the authority and, unless it directly opposes God’s law, the young woman needs to respect what her father says.

The reason for the confusion found in many churches and homes is the infiltration of feminism. It’s interesting to note that biblical Christians will agree that something like homosexual behaviour is unnatural,it suddenly becomes perfectly ok to behave contrary to the nature God has given each gender. This is in fact nothing new. Paul had to deal with it in the First Century.

I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach; for some have already turned aside to follow Satan. - 1 Timothy 5:14-15 (NASB)

That’s right, Feminism is of the devil. It is wrong because it is a rebellion against authority. Feminism is not about women's rights, nor equality, it's about rebellion against God's Word. What feminists are really saying is, "We don't believe the Bible is God's Word and we absolutely REFUSE to allow men to have exclusive authority." Thus, women preachers demand EQUALITY in the leadership of the church. Wives demand EQUALITY in the leadership of the home. This is exactly what Lucifer said in Isaiah 14:14:

"I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High." (KJV)

Now I'm not going to make such strong statements without quantifying them. I'm not ignorant of feminist arguments. Take a look at the previous paragraphs. I quite clearly and unequivocally stated the man’s God-given duty is to care for his wife and to treat her well, out of love for her and ultimately God. So many times people get confused, but let me clarify.  Feminism is not the same thing as women's rights.  Feminism is a sin; but, human rights certainly are not. Human rights are granted at birth, and apply to everyone.

Even the world understands chain of command. Businesses have CEOs managers and supervisors. This is accepted as normal and rightly so.

Likewise, neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. (1 Corinthians 11:9 KJV)

This is so because God, through the Apostle Paul says:

I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. (1 Corinthians 11:3 KJV)

This is not inequality, it is a chain of command because God is a God of order and as His followers, we should honor the chain of command He set up.  God is the only one who can know everything in this world.  Do we really think we know better than He does?  What Feminists say when they demand equality is that they know what works better than God does.

As we said before, this is the same attitude Lucifer had and that attitude got him cast out of heaven.  Men and women alike need to be very prayerful in how they approach any relationship, any situation, anything.  Is it God-honoring?  Is what I am doing following God’s clearly defined chain of command?